So, it's been a few days. A good amount of stuff has happened, especially today. In short- Saturday night eventually began to suck even more and more as it went on, so I called Jacque and we got donuts and had girl talk, and made mix CDs for our trip to Philly, which was tons and tons of fun. So you should check out the iPhoto gallery, and see.
Today was the last day to drop classes at school, and I didn't go in person, thinking I'd be able to do it online. Unfortunately that wasn't possible. So I'm looking at 16 credits worth of F's this semester, unless I can kiss some serious ass at Records and Reg. tomorrow. Which, knowing the friendly staff of Essex Administration, isn't going to happen.
I'm beginning to think that moving in with Dave is going to become more and more of a reality with every passing day, because my parents are starting to smell the smoke from my glorious plane crash of a semester. I know they're not going to be happy about it. I'm not sure what the ramifications would be for me, when they finally do find out, but I'm fairly sure they're not pretty. And I'm also sure they're going to find out soon. I'm preparing myself for the worst-case scenario.
Even though losing my car and comfy suburban lifestyle is going to take its toll on me, maybe it's for the best. When I fucked up high school, it became clear I was going to have to build my life from the ground up. I just didn't know how close to the ground I would have to start. But the path, while not without its own tribulations, has not been difficult. I feel like everything I have in this world, I've been given. My car, my cell phone, every single piece of furniture, my last failed attempt at school, and my current failed attempt at school. My parents have tried for so long to make sure my life would be as easy and promising as possible, but for whatever reason, I take what they offer me and fail to do what I should with it. I'm sure they're tired of me draining their energy and resources, and the more I think about it, I feel like I'm tired of being such a drain on them.
When it comes to getting on with my own future, I need to shit or get off the pot. I don't feel like I can do that living with them. Although who knows, maybe after much fighting (and more importantly, after I've paid them back for the semester) our relationship can start to heal.
In other news, got another hot date tomorrow night, and I really feel like I should do some laundry, because I'm thinking we should probably, you know, go to a decent restaurant instead of a 24-hour diner. I also think I'll have to wake up early to take care of that among other things. So, I think I'll be going now.
(DB) out.
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2 comments:
Dan you know that you have my support always. No matter what happens. I wouldnt look at it like you've ruined the life your parents tried to give you... Look at it like that life wasnt the one that you were ment to live. Everything happens for a reason and on day even after the struggles youll be thankful things took the path they did. Look what going to school this semester did for us, we're closer, we've hung out more, we've been creative, and we've had random ideas of going to Phili. Try not to look at all the downfalls right now. When the time is right, things will be smoother. If not, it will be a lesson that you will take with you for the rest of your life. Call me if you need me. I lurve you!
My solution: Move in with Dave. Until fall, alternately work to pay off your parents/do all those adventurous, life-changing, independent things you'll never be able to do in 5 years with a career ahead of you. Start over fresh at UBalt or Baltimore City College later after you've had enough fun. Then the F's won't matter anyway. If I can graduate, anyone can. <3
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