fun with balls

Tonight I went to the pool hall for the first time in probably a hundred million years. It was good times. And Mike got his license. When the hell did this happen?

I really wanna get this song recorded, because even though it's simple, I think I could end up making it sound really cool. That and surprisingly, the built-in mic on the iBook records things rather well. I'd like to get a real mic, though, or something.

Today was far less antisocial and more productive than any day I've had lately, so I feel good about that. + The Bravery tomorrow night. Bottom line: work on Saturday morning is going to be a huge, terrible bitch, given the fact that I might stick around Sonar after the show and get my club on. And then party on Saturday night.

I am such a fat girl. I ate a bowl of soup and two hot pockets not three hours ago, and I'm hungry again. It's probably because I'm bored. Sigh.. and I have another five loads of laundry to do. Maybe I'll do that, and not be bored, and then I won't eat. (Or maybe I'll eat every other set of pants I try to fold.)

Speaking of bored, I spent an hour today trying to sort out how to make custom Myspace styles not screw up my profile. I wasn't all that successful, but I was better off than when I tried the other night. If anybody knows CSS, please let me know. Not like anybody ever reads this thing.

So, the question of the day is, how does one lose weight when all one eats is microwaveable, processed horse shit? And it's not that one eats M.P.H.S. by choice, because one only has access to a microwave at work, and never has any time to prepare healthy food. And one is at work, all the time. Usually uses Myspace and cigarettes to suppress appetite.

after a nice, short night of sleep

I don't know what my plan is for today. I think I'm missing Soc, because I'm fairly caught up in that class and all we do is talk. I'd rather have an egg sandwich than starve through our daily and customary debates. Then there's Stat... that should be fun. I need to finish this thing I'm writing for Speech. It's supposed to be a recollection of a memory, one in which we can recall a strong emotional response, whatever that may be.

Mine's about how I finally accepted I was gay, and even after the fact, I still feel ashamed of myself sometimes when in a room full of straight people. It's almost November and I have yet to mutter the word "homosexual" to anyone in the class other than the teacher, because I guess I'm afraid to. Maybe they already know, maybe they don't, but why am I so afraid to be who I am? Why do the kids (and I do mean kids) in my class scare me? I've been through far more emotional hell from the people I'm closest to than anyone hearing the speech can throw at me. So, in that case, fuck them, I'm being who I want to be.

Maybe one day, I'll have gotten it all out to the point that I don't have to continually play the "I'm young, and gay, and misunderstood" card to get inspiration for class assignments.

BRAVERY TONIGHT!!!!!

(DB) out.