smile like you mean it...

I have no idea why I just titled this entry after a song I haven't listened to in probably over a month. Uh-oh, there I go. Now I'm listening to it.

Today, I went to Ikea, fake-shopping with Louise. Ikea is the kind of place that makes you wish you had tons of money. Not because of their prices, but because you want a big, super-modern apartment to furnish with all of their reasonably-priced and fashionable wares. I am an Ikea whore, and I'm proud of it.

Crap. My parents always tell me they don't want me smoking in my room because they're afraid I'll start a fire. And I just dropped my cigarette. No fire, no harm, no foul. But, I can hear my mom in my head, going "I told you so, hahaha, you'll shoot your eye out..." "The Christmas Story" anyone? Oh well.

Hot damn, Christmas is coming up, isn't it?

That reminds me of that time like three years ago, when my AIM profile / away message always contained a countdown, like "13 days until Xmas is fucking over." I hated Christmas so passionately, those years my parents decided to host it at my house. I think the best Christmas we ever had was the time my mom had surgery three days before, and we all just chilled at home and watched movies. It was really mellow, and really low-pressure, which is a break from Christmas tradition in my family. This past Christmas, I had to drink tons of egg nog to keep my Grandma's tactless anecdotes (that she doesn't mean to be funny) from forcing me into hysterics at the dinner table. I finally realized why Christmas was such a drunken holiday with my mom's side of the family.

Tomorrow, I have school and work. + I need to find some sort of public event to go to, such as a lecture or a performance, so I can write my speech paper on it. We didn't have class on Monday because we had the option of going to see Antigone at school, but I had to work, and I didn't know it was the final run of the show. I have until a week from Friday to write this paper, and something tells me I super-duper need to do a bang-up job on it.

On that note, I wish I had some sort of outlet to write more, or be more artistic in general. I miss going to Carver, sometimes, because no matter what was going on with outside life or other classes, we all had our own little projects that we were always sharing with each other, or polishing the day before coffee house, or hacking to pieces and reconstructing in our journals. If I can't get myself into a liberal arts school, then I want to create something of my own. Anybody like the idea of creating a group of otherwised bored, semi-uninspired artists, who get together to share their stuff and then go about their business? Poetry, photography, photo-essays, songs, paintings, drawings, whatever. I think it'd be a great idea to put something like that together.

Let me know if you're interested! Of course, I've probably already discussed something along these lines with all four people who read this. But tell your friends. Ask them what they think. Let me know!

I think, after that little bit of verbal diarrhea, I'm heading to bed. I have a big (but otherwise normal) day tomorrow.

(DB) out.