love wine, hate linksys

My router has kicked me off twice in ten minutes, probably setting a new record for how sucky Linksys routers are. Completely not working would necessitate replacement, but selectively not working (it's only my computer and my mom's) is just cheeky. Not fun cheeky, though. Just mean.

I've been really blog-negligent these past few days, for which there is no great reason. i've been busy. I've been relatively tapped for things to talk about. My life is pretty much the same, day in and day out: My car needs fixing. School occupies a lot of my time. I'm down to three friends I see with any semblance of frequency (that's counting Jinah's mom, who I positively adore). And, I'm of course, just slipping by on enough money to fear just how much totally broke hurts.

One development, though- my car overheated and nearly stalled as I tried to make a left turn today. I think I'm taking it to BJ's tomorrow, if they're open.

Now, though, I shall enjoy my wine and relatively calm weather, and not obsess over the little stupid things that give me a drive to improve my life.

I finish up my classes this week. Of course, I start new classes next week, but it's hard to believe that after only five weeks, that's six credits under my belt. I really only wish the fall semester could pass by as quickly; I feel like I'm actually accomplishing things, rather than letting ambitions lie fallow.

I've been trying to eat healthy. My parents only buy filth, though. So, I get a sense of satisfaction when I tie up the kitchen for an hour trying to throw together something nutritious (or not even, my main requisite is minimal-guilt or guilt-free), and I get to say, "Well, you folks are trying to poison me with these microwaveable intolerabilities!"

The day, though, that I manage to string that sentence together while toiling over a stove... well, that shall be a strange day.

On wine- It's best to drink it when it belongs to other people, because then one thinks twice about the temptation to finish a whole damn bottle. Further, it's best to drink it when it is not offered, but left around for general consumption. One person presenting a bottle of wine to share with another can lead to unpleasant indiscretions. And soreness.

Hah.
(a beat)
I was just about to type something bitter and nasty, but then I thought, perhaps I should save those remarks for other outlets. And maybe, just maybe, I'll pour myself a second glass of wine.

So, for the interesting reading that's been so sorely missing in this here blog, I posit the question, when do you know that real life has hit? Looking at my nine-year plan for amassing degree after degree, finding some sort of job, getting someplace to live.. Well, I remember when I was a kid, there were two timeframes: Now, and Future, separated by the now widely used linguistic / typographical convention that is the lone ? Although looking at where it all should fit chronologically, I feel like ? is where I'm at. Future is still on the horizon, but that pesky punctuatory purgatory (oh, what old grapes can do for alliteration) still remains cloudy.

Will it feel like real life once I'm done my bachelors? Or will that still not be enough? Will I take the stance of the professional student, and remain in college until I'm 30, chasing after a doctorate and a shot at a top-drawer job with a top-dollar salary? Or will it be when I buy my first house, or my first new car, or when I wake up in the morning and think to myself, "hmm, maybe I should start thinking about life insurance?" No, that's "old age," not real life. My thinking is, real life never hits. We are all to walk around with invisible credentials whose obtainment once meant the world to us, and ultimately settle into jobs we really thought we were working so hard to skip over.

Then, maybe one day with enough luck, we might get those dream jobs we always thought about getting. But, even that might not feel like the threshold between ? and Future, because... I don't know. That wick just burned itself out.

Disclaimer: When I said "interesting reading" three paragraphs ago, I might have meant something like philosophical rambling. That's for you to decide.

I have to wake up relatively early, take the car in for repairs, then commit the rest of my day to cleaning out the garage and the basement. I'm really intensely not looking forward to that, because that means: spending a day in a confined space, doing something I passionately hate, kept company by my parents, who know how much I hate being there, and thus get mad at me when my attitude lapses below my ability to feign cheer.

In all fairness though, when my attitude lapses, I get intensely bitter, sarcastic, and by-and-large, evil. Not like this is news to anyone.

I think I'm going to passively absorb half of Wikipedia and call it a night.

(DB) out.